I hope you don’t find this sweet or cute, because it’s repulsive. I think I just threw up in my mouth looking at this. Get a room pigeons! Or a ledge or something out of my sight. Just flaunting your sexual inhibitions for all passersby to see. He’s probably slipping her his little pigeon tongue. Gross! You don’t know where that thing has been. Holy shit are those giant hickeys on your necks? What is that? It's like Swamp Thing got to third base with you! Have you no shame pigeon? For a stale crumb any shmo off the street can have his way with you?
And when I’m on my way to get my coffee I don’t want to stumble over two pigeons making out in the middle of the sidewalk. You know I can’t function without my coffee. So pay attention pigeons, this is the city! You don’t see homeless people standing in the walkway playing tonsil hockey. They have the decency to keep that sort of behavior in the alleys, and you should too pigeon. And it’s not like you ever brush your beaks, and you eat debris and play in the gutter all day. Foul!
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