If I've told you once...

People, we have to get on the same page. I have told you many times before, pigeons don’t have brains. And if they did have brains they would be so tiny that much like the bulls eye on the dart board, you will never hit it. Why do you think their heads always bob back and forth? Because they have no brain. Don’t ask me how the two correlate. All I know is that it looks stupid, hence no brain. Plus how stupid do you have to be to get shot in the head with a dart? Duck you stupid pigeon! Your damn head is constantly moving anyways. It shouldn’t be that difficult a concept to grasp.
Anyways, how do we know that someone actually shot this pigeon with a dart? How do we know this pigeon isn’t merely trying to accessorize. Maybe this pitiful creature thinks that the yellow compliments its black eyes. Maybe you should pick up a damn Vogue magazine and learn about real fashion, pigeon!
Maybe this pigeon is headed to a costume party and this is some sort of gag, like the arrow through the head. Trust me pigeon, nobody thinks you’re funny or cute and you’re just going to end up all alone in the corner of the party with your birdie cocktail until you’re so drunk that you make an ass out of yourself trying to dance the funky chicken. That’s a dance for chickens, pigeon! Just save yourself the embarrassment and go home.