In first grade this boy sitting behind me flipped my view of
reality when during class he whispered in my ear, “Did you know that if you
dropped a penny off the Empire State Building it would kill a person if it hit
them?” No I did not know this. I pondered this fresh truth and was promptly
called on by Ms. Marks. I answered Empire State Building, but I was in math
class. That day I remember walking around looking up tall buildings worried
that someone could drop a penny down on me. It was torture!
Now picture instead of some fiendish teenager standing atop
the empire state building, arm outstretched and penny dangling, it is this filthy bird, butthole outstretched and dingleberry dangling. This turd
blossom would turn to nuclear warhead as it defies gravity, going 0 to 60 in
3.6 seconds. Imagine walking down the street, Christmas gifts in tow only to
watch in horror as your arm is ripped off at the shoulder by this chemical
weapon. And knowing the diet of these rat fuckers like I do, there is no doubt
he is packing more ammunition than a gatling gun.
So beware city dwellers. I know myth busters busted the
penny myth, but they never tested pigeon shit. Be vigilant.
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