It’s not exactly Auschwitz, but if you listen closely you can hear the goose-stepping of those foul pigeons. I feel for the poor saps buried beneath that mountain of shit. What were they thinking when they made their way into that dark alley? Did they squawk them into this dark corner? The screams when they turned on them and unloaded from deep within their birdie bowels, must have been horrifying. These branches scattered about make it seem like they could of been ambushed from a surrounding forest of trees. What kind of pigeons were these? I've never seen a pigeon in a tree. What are we up against here?
It warms my heart, though, to see that my brothers and sisters in arms shed these fiends feathers. They must of put up a ferocious fight. I can believe nothing less.
But maybe it’s the Ark of the Covenant that lies beneath that waste. Could it be that the sixth commandment is actually "though shall not murder, except for filthy pigeons?" These damn heretical birds actually think they can hide God’s true words from us? May they burn in hell!
Dive bombed by a pigeon, not once but twice today. Maybe my extended absence from the Fuck You Pigeon front lines has caused them to think they’ve won this little war. No! They probably figured they drove me underground to live in some sewer or the basement of a crackhouse. No pigeon! I am not like you and I never will be!
So it’s time to get back to taking the fight to them. No more being intellectual and rising above the pigeons to be the better species. That shit doesn’t work in arguments and it doesn’t work here!
These bastards are creeping outside the city limits. I see them hanging around porch stoops just being plain dirty. They are advancing on all fronts and it is time to fight back.
So I’m coming out throwing haymakers pigeons! Keep your collective guards up… or better yet don’t.
