It's called social etiquette!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, who the fuck does this pigeon think he is? Labor Day was yesterday pigeon! You think you can just trot around flaunting social norms? What gives you the right? I don't care if it's your natural color. You go with the rest of your filthy brethren and take a long sewer bath. I know you've been itching to join your family in the gutter. But you think that because you're all nice and white and clean looking that you shouldn't defile yourself with that city bile. I've got news for you pigeon, underneath that shiny exterior you're still a dirty pigeon. A fucking pigeon in dove's clothing!
Damn imitation albino pigeon. You're eyes aren't even pink! You're fooling nobody pigeon! You will get no sympathy from me. And no I will not donate to your albino research center. That shit's probably a dump! Literally! You will not fool me twice pigeon. Keep wearing white after Labor Day pigeon. I dare you. All it does is make you an easier target.

Memorial Day Tribute

It was a time when men were men and pigeons were pigeons, not the greasy balls of disease and feathers they are today. I'm talking about World War I and the pigeons who helped us win that war.
These noble American pigeons bled the Red, White, and Blue, risking life and wing to transport crucial documents as close as the front lines.
Today's pigeon couldn't carry this brave bird's bag. No today's pigeon doesn't understand what it takes to earn an honest day's seed. Instead they just lounge around amassing filth, polluting our walkways with their presence, and of course shitting where they please.
So today, as you are BBQing that chicken, think of the bird that made it all possible. We salute you carrier pigeon.